But Enough About You...

So the ladies have been clamoring: Who is this Financial Artist? What about him is so financial? What kind of an artist is he?

So I am going to reveal myself in public today and give y'all the lowdown and the skinny, at the same time. As an introspective person (some might say, obsessively so), I believe I have a handle on both my positive and negative qualities.

I will of course begin with the positive. But be forewarned: Before you begin to swoon, remember, in a few days I'll be posting the negative. Stay tuned.

1. At work, I put ethics ahead of all else. I invest people's money for a living. I love what I do, but it comes with tremendous responsibilities. I've always said that mine is the one profession where the clients see you as a professional - similar to an attorney or accountant - but management views you as a salesperson. Never mind the unethical "brokers" who will screw their clients for a commission, even the general clutter that pervades my profession can do a lousy job and still make a good living off the backs of their clientele. I view all clients as if they were my mom, and their money as sacred.



2. I'm training for a triathalon. Whether I end up racing or not is beside the point. I'm on my way to running a 20-minute 5K. I swim. I bike. I bench press over 200 and my goal is to get to 250. I finally took the advice of one of the coaches at my gym to focus less on the scale and more on the mirror.



3. I used to write professionally. Though I now make my money elsewhere, my writing, which had been languishing for a while, is now a priority. Does blogging count as an artistic endeavor? I'll let you be the judge of that. Meanwhile, I jot down quotes, lines and dialogue for plays and stories I am working on.



4. Socially, I'm still looking for the perfect playmate, because having a good time is about who you're with, not what you're doing. Most men say they're good listeners - which is bogus. What they mean is they are capable of long bouts of silence while you talk and they nod their heads. Active listening means trying to more deeply understand who you are by paying careful attention to not only what you say but how you react: a smile, a laugh, a raised eyebrow. Questions should have a point - not just to keep the flow of the conversation, but to gain a closer connection.



5. God blessed me with a great face, thick hair, bright, brooding eyes. I have been complimented on everything from my ass to my fingernails. Fingernails, for god's sake!

Well, my ego's sufficiently stroked for one night. Time to give it a rest.

A Load of Crap

Another article on commodities funds, this time in Kiplinger's, that ignores Oppenheimer Real Asset Fund (QRAAX),.

Why?

Well, obviously, because it's a LOAD-fund. (Pause for the Suze Orman-induced groan of disapproval.) That's total crap. Because the fund has astronomical returns and is only one of two open-end commodity funds that actually track the commodities indices, rather than buy commodity related stocks (If I want Exxon, I'll buy Exxon. When I want crude oil, I want crude oil.)

The other fund, PIMCO RealReturn Commodity Fund (PCRAX), gets mentioned because it has a no-load D-share. But PIMCO is more metals focused and Oppy is more natural resource focused, so one really doesn't replace the other. I reccomend a 5% allocation to each; that's a ten percent allocation (as a hedge) of the total portfolio.

This bias against load funds (God forbid a broker should make a living!) is preposterous. When the WSJ reviews funds they always leave out the load funds, even when their performance--after the load--beats the others they reccomend. Moose kah-kah, I say.

I Love the Smith Barney Commercials

You know, the ones where the financial advisor is part of the family.

But what I really love is the Saturday Night Live spoof, where the FA yells at the client's daughter for being such a misanthrope, and then, turning to the client who had tried to soften the blow, screams "Grow a pair!"

Good stuff.

Financial Services Firms that Sell Rather than Advice are the Scum of the Earth

'nuf said.